If Only in Dreams
by EvilRelena
Summary: Long ago we had been friends but you have forgotten...Long ago I had vowed to keep my promise and stay away from you but then I fell in love...Long ago I fell in love with you Shizuo but it's only in dreams that you loved me back...
1. Prolouge

**If Only in Dreams**

**Prologe**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters!**

Cold.

He couldn't feel his arms and legs anymore but he kept running, a small little girl clung tightly around his neck, while another was tucked safely in his arms. Both girls were wrapped up tightly in thick sheets, not the best thing but he hadn't had many options. He could feel them both shivering as they clung tighter to him trying to find warmth. His own body felt like a iceberg or at least he couldn't feel any warmth but he wasn't concerned with that. He was more worried about his two little sisters; they would not be able to bare being out in the cold for much longer.

His body ached from the cold and the added weight but despite that he kept running, he knew if he stopped it would all be over. They would be caught and taken back to that horrible place, he was not afraid of punishment but he could not bare the thought of them hurting his little sisters. That was all the motivation he needed to not stop, to ignore the pain and the cold and focus only on running. The sound of two heartbeats kept his hope alive; as long as they were alright then he could still go on.

"Mairu….Kururi, just a bit longer. We're almost there, hang in there"

Taking his attention off his sisters, he squinted his eyes, the coast was finally in sight so it wouldn't be much longer. Letting out a deep breath he picked up more speed buying mindful of the two little girls he was carrying. Honestly he was not sure where he found the strength to go faster because he had passed his limitations a while ago. His pace began to slow as his bare feet hit the sand of the beach. Keeping his balance he walked through the sand towards the crashing waves, specifically the boat pushed up on shore. Setting the girl in his arms in the boat lightly, he turned around and eased the other girl off his back. Both immediately latched onto each other still cold before turning their eyes up to him fearfully.

Sliding a warm smile on his face he patted both girls lightly on the head, "Don't worry, I just need to get the boat in the water. I won't leave you two alone…" His words calmed them down as he saw a slight nod with a shy smile from the younger of the twin. That's right, his little sisters were twins and they were very precious to him. Placing his hands on the front of the boat he started to push the boat through the sand, his exhausted body was not making this easy but he kept at it until the cold water hit his feet. A shiver ran up his spine but he continued to ease the boat more into the water before hoisting his body into the wooden boat.

His eyes cast up to the tall mountains, lights peeking over the top towards the sky signaling that their escape had been noticed. They would be searching everywhere for them, it just proved that he had to keep going and put enough distance between them. Fixing the thick sheets around his sisters he took hold of the oars and began awkwardly rowing further out to sea. They were heavy and the water didn't make it any easier, he continued none the less and it almost surprised him that the boat was actually moving forward.

Letting his eyes drift to the flashing in the sky he allowed himself to fall briefly into his thoughts before a small voice brought him back, "Iza-nii…" His eyes lowered to the two little girls with a soft smile, "Where are we going again...?" Izaya looked towards the sky briefly before returning his gaze to them.

"Ikeburko"

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**Authors Note: First off, I am a very bad child to start another story when I haven't finished the first Durarara fic I started, not to mention I have an unfinished Dgrayman fic as well! .**

**Fear not those who are currently reading either, I have not forgotten them and I have started typing up the next chapter for both so be patient.**

**Reviews and comments are forever loved! I hope any readers enjoy this story as well.**


	2. A Clear Blue Sky

**Chapter 1: A Clear Blue Sky**

Rowing to the portside town had taken forever or at least that's what his limb arms were saying but he couldn't stop yet. No, their journey was still far from over and right now what they needed to do was get away from the port town. He once again had a little girl in his arms and another tired to his back with a sheet, both helplessly clinging to him. He could sense their fear at this strange new environment and he couldn't blame them. They had never been off that island, no, they had never been let out of the facility but he was the same as them. Izaya wouldn't show it though; he was there big brother so he had to remain strong for the two of them.

Stopping briefly to rest his eyes scanned the area, there weren't too many people out right now, it was late but he had to find them a ride out of this town and quick. It wouldn't be long before their pursuers got smart and headed to this port town, so the priority was getting as far away as possible. After that depending on where they ended up he would have to figure out how to get to Ikebukuro, he wasn't even sure how far away it was. Though he supposed getting his sisters some shoes and warmer clothes would be his next priority but that would require money. He had never even handled money in his entire life and if he remembered correctly during his lessons then most places wouldn't hire an eleven year old like him. Well, as the scientists would put it, nobody doing anything legal but the other side of that coin was dangerous.

Shifting the girl in his arms and checking on the one behind him he began to move forward once more looking for a way out of this town. He was about to give up hope and start walking to the next town when his eyes caught sight of a….truck. At least that's what he thought they were called, he had seen one in a picture and the description said they transported things. Izaya couldn't remember if that included people, but maybe that was the one called a bus. All these names were so confusing, why did they need so many different kinds of cars anyways.

Izaya supposed it really didn't matter, approaching the vehicle quietly examining the opened doors. It was like an invitation, maybe one too could to be true and that's something that worried him. Glancing around for the driver or any eyes that might be watching, he let out a sigh before returning his gaze to the back of the open truck. Shaking the small girl in his arms awake he carefully lifted her into the truck before crouching down and detangling the second girl from around his neck before repeating the process. It just seemed too easy so Izaya let his eyes wander around once more before climbing into the truck, his sisters immediately clung to his legs. With a soft smile he stroked their hair before ushering them towards the back of the truck, the three of them hiding their presence behind some large crates. His sisters clung to him like a lifeline, seeking warmth and security that he knew his presence brought to them.

His hands continued to run through their hair until he was sure they were fast asleep, only then did he let his tired arms drop to his lap. Izaya could barely feel his body at all, he knew he shouldn't but the exhaustion had taken its toll and his eyes began to feel heavy. Securing his arms around his two sisters he rested his head against a crate, only one thought crossed his mind before he slipped out of consciousness. _'Shizu-chan'_

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_Crimson eyes stared at the padded ceiling; he had spent many days staring in this same room. So many days passed without him knowing what was outside beyond these walls. It all changed the day he came though, the boy with the mocha eyes. Speaking of which, that face appeared before his eyes, "Izaya?" He stared at those mocha eyes, the ones belonging to his very first friend, a dazed look on his face "Shizu-chan?" Shizuo shook his head at his new friend, "You always sound so surprised Izaya….waking up from your nap and seeing my face. Were you dreaming?" Sitting up Izaya ran a hand through his raven locks before returning his attention to Shizuo._

"_I guess I am, it feels like any day I'll wake up and you'll have just been a dream the whole time" Shizuo let out a sigh and shaking his head at the red eyes boy, reaching over the pinched the boys cheeks to let him know that this wasn't a dream. Izaya frowned as he rubbed his soar cheek before a question appeared in his mind. "Ne, Shizu-chan…what does a clear blue sky look like?" He watched his friend remain silent probably trying to decide how to answer the question, "I don't really know how to describe it Izaya but I promise I'll show you. We'll escape this place together and you can come home with me to Ikebukuro" The warm smile Shizuo had on his face was contagious as Izaya found his lips curing into a smile as well, "Thanks Shizu-chan"_

A sudden bump in the road startled him awake, the crates and the small hands clinging to him reminded Izaya where he was. A dream? It had already been three years since he helped his friend escape from that horrid place. Even though they had promised to escape, in the end Izaya had stayed behind. He had too; it was the best chance Shizuo had of making it home to his family without being captured because as long as he stayed they wouldn't waste their time pursuing him. The world had become so much darker after Shizuo left and it was then he understood the meaning of a bond and how painful it was too lose one.

Running his hands through his sister's hair he watched them sleep with a soft smile, he had made a new bond now. One that was very different from his one with Shizuo, the one he had read about in books, a strong bond that people called family. It was because of them that Izaya had once again decided to escape but this time he would actually leave, he was all his sisters had. He wasn't sure how yet but he would definitely take care of them, no matter what. Putting his arms around their small bodies he brought the two sleepy girls into a hug. "Mairu, Kururi…are you ready…to see a clear blue sky"

He wasn't expecting them to answer knowing the two girls were still very much asleep but he hoped his words would reach their dreams. After they shook their pursuers and kept a low profile then he would show them, everything they had all been denied. It was up to them now because they were now…

Free.

**Author's Note: I'm sorry my replys are so slow . Thanks for all the favs and alerts! Also thanks to my reviewers!**

**ArAnCaR: I had a feeling I spelled it wrong, wasn't in the mood to look it up.**

**NamiZexi: I shall write LOTS more, hopefuly with faster updates.**

**: thanks for the review! :)**

**ShizuoBartenderLover: Thanks for encouragement!**

**Miya: I just adore the Orihara siblings so much ^.^**

**Amy: Haha, I got double reviews from you and I wont stop writing!**


	3. Price of Freedom

**The Price of Freedom**

Was he dreaming?

It sure felt like one, sure he had seen pictures in the books he was allowed to read but it sure was different seeing it with his own eyes. All the humans walking around, the cars spewing out there dark black clouds and the tall buildings that obstructed his view of the sky.

So this was a city…

Only moments ago he had discovered that it wasn't Ikebukuro, much to his disappointment but he knew their journey wouldn't be that easy. The one human he had managed to get to talk to him told Izaya that they were in a city called Toshima. From what he got from the man Ikebukuro was not much farther. It was hard to contain his urge to just push forward so they could make it there faster but his sisters were at their limit, he needed to find them a place to rest and some food.

A small hand tugged his sleeve, "Iza-nii, I'm hungry" another hand gripped his other sleeve, "…hungry" He smiled sadly down at the two, if only he could snap his fingers and have food appear but that stuff wasn't possible. Food costs money and that was something he didn't have and was still in the process of figuring out how to get. He needed money for a temporary place for them to sleep, food, warm clothes, shoes, and some travel money. Izaya ran a hand through his hair with a sigh, he wasn't sure how much he needed or how long it would take him to make all that money and fast.

Asking someone seemed out of the question, most walked by like the three of them didn't exist and those that did notice gave him a strange look. It was weird, for the first time he felt conscious of the way he looked because it never mattered before. True he had never really been dirty like this before either. The bottom of his white pants smelled like sea water, his hands had blisters and his feet had a mixture of dirt and dried blood. Only the two little girls clinging to his legs were still clean, perfect little angels if he had a say in it.

Back to the matter at hand, how was he supposed to make what humans considered decent money, perhaps he should be more worried about being able to make money at all. Stealing was an option but not one he wanted to consider, it was wrong and he didn't want his sisters to grow up with that message. "Hey boy" Izaya's thoughts had been interrupted by a male voice; his eyes immediately went to the man now standing in front of him. It was more like looming over him in truth and Izaya really didn't have much to go by but he didn't look like a kind human. He was smiling but it was nothing like Shizu-chan's, there was no warmth.

**"Can I help you with something mister?"** His sisters were sitting quietly in the ally way out of sight and he was thankful that. This man's eyes disturbed him greatly, he didn't want such eyes to lay upon his innocent little sisters. "You have such beautiful skin and those eyes of yours seem to only enhance it…how much?" His words only made him seem creepier and the last thing he said, what did he mean? It didn't make sense but he had to be confident, this could be his chance to get a job of some kind. **"How much are you willing to pay"** The man's smile grew wider if that was even possible, "30,000 yen" Was that a lot? Izaya didn't know what humans considered a lot of money but it didn't sound like much. **"Don't take me for a fool, that's not nearly enough."**

Izaya hopped his nerves didn't betray him, his voice held confidence even if he surely didn't feel that way at all. He did his best not to flinch when the man went into a manic fit of laughter, he had never heard such a sound and he never wanted to hear it ever again. A small whimper from the alleyway reminded him of the two who were depending on him. That's right, he had to stay strong no matter what, and even if he had a bad feeling about this man it might be his only chance to earn money. "I like you, so just this once I'll offer 100,000 yen." That was quite a bit more than his first offer, should he take it?

The answer was yes.

**"You have a deal, how long will you need me for?"** He couldn't bring the girls with him and he didn't want to leave them alone for too long. "Only a couple of hours boy, you'll be able to recover and still be home for dinner" He didn't understand the meaning behind those words but he nodded his head none the less. A piece of paper was placed in his hand before the man started walking away, "I have some things to take care of, come there in two hours" Izaya looked at the paper briefly before returning his attention to the now empty space where the man used to be.

He really had a bad feeling about this but a man never went back on his word, that's what Shizu-chan taught him. That's why he wouldn't be surprised if Shizuo hated him now, they had promised to escape together and in the end he broke that promise. It had to be done, even if the thought of his precious friend hating him hurt a lot. If Shizu-chan was happy then he had no regrets because he was much more important. His sisters were the same, he would do anything to keep them smiling, for them he could with stand any pain.

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It had taken him quite some time, to find a good hiding spot for his sisters to wait while he did this job. In the end he decided at a place that he heard the humans call a park, it seemed to be a place specifically for kids. It took even more time to convince them to stay there and that he would return for them, with instructions that if the rest of the kids left and they were alone then hide and he would find them. Despite his plan his worry for their safety only increased with each step made towards his destination, he had never been so far away from them before.

Shaking all thoughts aside he stood tall walking faster towards the place he was to meet his employer at, this was for them. In the end despite the risk of leaving them alone, it would be far worse to continue on like this without proper clothing and a means to acquire food. Izaya was out of options and to be honest he hadn't had many to begin with, somehow he knew this was all going to end badly. The words of one of the scientists continued to repeat itself through his head, there was no legal job for a child like him which meant that whatever the man hired him for was bad, what an adult once said the underground. His employer was probably no different than the adults back on the island full of greed and malice, they did all their research in secret hidden behind a false pretence that their work was for the good of all mankind. Mankind…that word left a bitter taste in his mouth, Izaya didn't know if he was human like everyone else but he had no desire to be like them.

Humans were just a ball of lies and deceit, they cared nothing for the people around them or their homeland, the only thing that fuels them is their selfish desire to obtain the things they want even if it means destroying the life of another in order to achieve it. Izaya would never become like them…

His eyes gazed at the door where his employer waited for him, slowly he reached a small hand towards the door knob his fingers stopping right before the handle. _'Shizu-chan, give me strength' _Taking a deep breath he exhaled before his eyes flashed a confident nature as he gripped the handle opening the door, the note had said to just come in and if by chance he wasn't there to wait in the bedroom. Izaya's first step into the small hotel room had been hesitant at first, the fear coursed through his body and he knew now why he had a bad feeling about this job but he still put one foot in front of the other heading towards the bedroom. There was no turning back now, he had known that simple fact the moment he entered into the room and that was not his intent…this was for his sisters, for their well being and their future. Pushing the next door open his eyes landed on his employer, a sickly sweet smile covered his lips the instant Izaya walked into the room. "Close the door behind you boy and remove your clothes slowly" Izaya slowly pushed the door shut, it was ironic, leaving the cage had seemed like a dream and he had thought that he had obtained what he wanted most.

His freedom.

Yet now he understand that he was still not free, he was still at the mercy of another adult, one that would boast his dream of freedom closer to his reach but not without a price…

Izaya placed his hands on his shirt slowly raising it above his head before tossing it to the floor before slipping his fingers onto the sides of his pants lowering them to the floor. Everything that happened after that blurred before his eyes, everything was dark and even his own pained screams that he tried to muffle out with his hand seemed death to his ears nor the few tears that slipped out from behind his eyes. As his vision cleared he was alone in the bed that now had a blood stain where he sat, looking to the side he noticed money scattered on the floor and as he slowly turned his head to opposite side he saw his clothes. His body felt like it was on fire as pain coursed through his body by simply moving his foot, even though he knew his brain was sending the message to move his body would not listen, he remained frozen on the bed stained crimson and white.

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It was dark now and despite all the pain he had felt by simply walking out of the hotel, Izaya was running now as the worry sank in for his sisters. He had been gone far too long and every bad thing imaginable that could befall them entered his panicked mind. Reaching the park he slowed down to give his racing heart a second to calm and to fill his lungs with some much needed air. The park was deserted and hopefully that meant his sisters were hiding like he told them too, it wasn't much but it served to comfort him or at least it did before he felt a pair of eyes upon him. Turning around his eyes locked with the eyes on another adult, one wearing a white coat like the scientists wore on the island which caused an instant scowl to form on his face.

He didn't look familiar so this man was not from their home, but he was still an adult and that meant he couldn't be trusted.

The man stared at him with an unreadable look he could tell he had something to say but for some reason the man's lips never parted, Izaya wished he would just say what he wanted and be on his way so the future informant could go look for his sisters. "Are you perhaps Izaya" Alright that instantly put him on guard, how did this adult know his name! They didn't know a sole person in this place so the list of people who would know was small.

And in less Shizu-chan had a fairy godmother with magical powers than this man was not him.

Folding his arms across his chest Izaya turned slightly to the side, **"Sorry mister but you have the wrong person"** The man chuckled but showed no movements of coming closer and Izaya was just glad his laughter sounded normal unlike the last adult he met in this city. "Forgive me, I realize I must seem suspicious and I don't blame you for not trusting me. It's just a patient of mine spoke often of a boy with crimson red eyes and such an eye hue is rare" Izaya would be lying if he didn't say he was slightly interested in this man's words so he decided to humor him a bit longer, **"hmmm, is that so"** The man chuckled again shaking his head a little a warm smile forming on his lips, "Yes it is, but I must confess I never thought I would ever meet his friend." The man shook his head with another smile and Izaya was about to just walk away but the man's next words froze him on the spot "Wouldn't you like to see him again Izaya, Shizuo?" This man just said Shizuo, it couldn't be his Shizu-chan could it? What if Shizuo was a common name but there was no denying that even in this big city he had yet to hear anyone call out that name.

No! There had to be more behind this, adults were selfish humans and this man was no different.

**"You don't even know me, what's in it for you?"** His tone had been firm with cold edge to it so this adult would plainly understand that he didn't trust him and Izaya was onto his greed game, it would not go the way he planned. The man was completely unfazed by the tone of voice and his own reply had been firm as well, "Once again I would like to apologize, it would seem that you are far more intelligent than your age would suggest so I will be direct now. I will take you to meet Shizuo in exchange for information" Izaya arched an eyebrow, this was the second time he had been surprised by this man and as much as he wanted to ignore it, his words brought him a small hope…the hope of being able to see his dearest friend once more. **"What kind of information"** The man's smile faded as his eyes became serious, "Information on White House to bring it down" Izaya's small eyes widened at the declaration before they softened a determination burning in them, **"With pleasure, Mairu! Kururi!"**

He didn't miss how the shock that crossed the doctors face as two small girls rushed from their hiding spot instantly attaching themselves to Izaya's legs while trying to hide behind them. He lowered his hands to pat their heads his eyes softening as he quelled their fear, **"So you have a name Mr. White Coat"** The doctor let out another chuckle as he finally approached Izaya for the first time since they had met. "Excuse my bad manners, my name is Shingen, Kishitani Shingen"

**Comments****: I apologize for the long wait on this update but I have been quite busy, I have updates to make for my two other stories as well and then I will be posting another chapter for 'Only in Dream' I hope you all enjoy this chapter and as always reviews are always appreciated.**


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